Pandemonium
by MinnieChu
Summary: There are things were not meant for you... But temptations are too sweet to ignore. SI/OC
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Beware some grammatical errors...

Death

When it slowly eating you, it became the most irritating subject you could ever experience. Perhaps i thought it was the fact, I was fool to believe that it was alright that everything was okay. My pathetic life had never been perfect; I lost my parents before I started crawling. Their only evidence when I only saw their faces on pictures. Sometimes the loneliness and thought how life would be different if they were only alive would always be in my mind; the craving of possibility was always part of me. The fact any minute I would be seeing their faces despite the complete mess I caught , but somehow there was a tiny of doubt if possibly heaven was my destination, not that I'm full time sinner like my murderer.

It was stupid of me not to take a cab while knowing there were desperate assholes come to take advantage on me. He happened to be in a right time- Just like the cheap horror movies I've seen from HBO. I was walking down the road after I resigned myself doing some financial statements but undeniably my luck run out. The usual ritual fall to places; He threatened me, stole my half of my salary, then shot me enough to drown myself with blood ,which it had reach to my conclusion he was totally a psychopath. The lucky part was the police car was nearby and heard everything but the unlucky part was the medics came late to save me from my last breath.

I supposed the twenty four years of living was coming to its end, so i let myself drifted away in the darkness that surrounded my vision because it would be futile to fight.

* * *

The cold and softness of the air had touched on me. It somehow made me in peace at the same time little bit insane. The conscious part of me telling, I was floating inside the dark abyss, to a place that was unreachable. I couldn't see anything even an iota of light that I was hoping; by chance it was maybe my eyes weren't open as I rationalized.

Time was irrelevant perhaps maybe it would always be irrelevant when darkness is always present. I don't know how many days or months had passed from the last time i was breathing. Was this how my mom and dad felt when death ate them? It felt so empty like a blank slate.

Then I heard a rush of liquid. The adrenaline to move was so undeniably temptation. I tried kicking but my movements were bound. It still got me a wonder where was the light I was hoping way through my heaven.

After some quite of time, I suddenly felt the tightness that keeping me hard to breath. Then headache came nowhere and it stung, making me silently cried. All my memories were starting to flash in my mind, from the beginning of my consciousness of my past life till the end of it. I was so confused with how and why it all coming back, likes a snapshot in a camera. But with the stinging sensation I felt, someone's pulling my memories away, like it was shattering in to tiny pieces and being steal away from. But I wouldn't let happen. It was my memories that I owned, I harnessed it, it was mine to treasure. I fought back to have it even the only strength that I had was my memories of the picture of my parents. I admit it there were some unpleasant memories but it was mine to be kept, to ponder and to suffer. So I fought hard to gain it, even the tightness I was feelings making me miserable.

Then it all stopped suddenly as if someone pushed the pause button. Wind suddenly slapped my skin like for the first time. The light was spilling. Wind flowing inside me and I breathed like I had drowned myself in water then never did once tasted it. But it all forgotten until I parted my mouth and cried without a reason. I wailed like a child and it was humiliating.

Light cotton touched me; however, I felt someone was carrying me. I wanted to speak what they were doing to me but all came was the stupid annoying crying of my voice. I tried speaking once again but the result was always the same.

I stopped for a minute, then all of sudden my brain came an earth shattering conclusion, it got me as fast as speed of light that undeniably- I was a child. WTF?!

I guess the first chapter is so …Um .. Cliché..


	2. Chapter 2

My life had been so simple; even in there were episodes I thought it to be hard but in truth it was so simple and happy. I was happy girl who knew how to fill the gap of lack of parents, survive in the midst of sadness. Their absence was my determination and inspiration; it got me finish my college at least. I had some relationships which turned to be failure. I got an employer who I wanted really to hook up with me; he was good looking -but scratch that, knowing that I was a mere child holding by someone.

There were some words they were speaking I couldn't comprehend. I bet they were happy in my existence which I found joy in my heart. Heaven might be not on my sight but this was much better than anything else because it was like wish come true.

"Naomi! Naomi!" the man said in rush while feeling the grip of hold tightened on me. Then a few seconds he let go of me or rather maybe put me down to a soft cushioned pillow.

The hot wet liquids were dropping on my face. I felt all the anguish or happiness he was releasing and I didn't know the reason was. Even the dim and uncertain vision i had been not helping to analyze the situation. But the sudden scent of a female reached on my very sensitive nostrils." She's beautiful just like her mother, Kaito" as the words spoke with sincerity in spite of not understanding.

"Hai, Have you decide what to name our little thing?"

"Kana"

* * *

Little by little I could understand what they were saying. It was a foreign language which I already heard from my past life, perhaps it was Japanese. From the influence of television i had watched, it might be.

My senses were starting to develop and because of that, I started seeing them more than three months of my living.

My father lifted me up as soon as he felt my discomfort. My vision landed on him, and observed the tiny details i could get. With his smile plastered on his face, He was a simple man with a yellow bordering brown eyes, had brown hair with a fair skin but still the soft feature were more pronounced on his face unlike other men I saw in my past life.

A little minutes had passed, the light footsteps were heard by my ears of mine "Let me hold her." the soft feminine voice; I assumed to be my mother.

Her warmth overwhelmed all over me as soon as my father left his presence. Her onyx eyes glowed with adore by the time she handled me. All of a sudden her straight black hair was shining with her rosy cheeks that were glowing, with all those quality i felt so bless to have a good genes.

Behind all the blessing I had, I felt so guilty. I felt like this was not my body, maybe someone owned this and i happened to intercept the process. But the whisper of the selfish part of me said that it was mine to be deserved and owned. It was too late to regret what already had happened in the first place.

Time passed by like yesterday. I learned to comprehend their language and writings. I grew up like normal child like my parents wanted me to be, because In the same manner I wanted to value the time ,and appreciate what they could taught, so I didn't accelerate my developments. The experience of being a child again was nerve cracking but still quite enjoying the time of being childish.

The big difference of my new life was so obvious because i was most likely born before technology appreciated by humans. The population wasn't overload and less than, the building were like medieval times. I felt like I was sent back rather being reborn and reincarnated.

My mother hands stopped swaying and finally let go of it, by the time we arrived on across tea shop. "Sweetie, Stay here while mom isn't here. Daddy will be coming to get you" She smiled on me.

She had decided ago we would be waiting Tou-san on tea shop but it was suddenly changed as soon my mother and i had met some strange men who look very similar intimidating. I expectedly believed that probably we're relative because of some similarities

I was still upset that it would only me who will be waiting Tou-san's coming back, since it had been a month ever his departure to visit his distant relative civilians.

I frowned and stared at her just like a six year old kid who was curious." you'll come back?"

She sighed before contemplating another reply."No, tell your father that i have a very important meeting to attend to. Now! be a good girl and follow the rules what i tend to remind you always." her demeanor changed quickly from serious to joyful. There was always time that my father was having hard time winning an argument with her-but nonetheless it wasn't big and important. She was really a careful woman and treasures something greatly, and that was why she kept imposing rules like don't talk to a stupid stranger, as if i wanted to do it because i already had my lesson.

"Of couse kaa-san!" as the sweet saccharine smile of mine plastered.

She kissed my forehead before she left and walk to the crowds.

The scent of green tea wafted around my nose. It was- so peaceful and refreshing; I couldn't recall in my past life feeling such same manner. This was so overwhelming and relaxing.

It was all gone as soon as someone grabbed and lifted me up in the air that made my stomach churned." Kana! Sweetie..." The dearly voice of my beloved father said as I squeaked with surprise

."Tou-san! Put me down." I was ashamed he'd do that out in a public place.

I was pleased he put me down because not that I was fond doing especially outdoor, but... he was my old man and maybe there's always an exception.

"Hmmm... Hime-chan isn't young forever and Tou-san loves you very much... I might not do it forever, okay." He said sincerely while putting a warm to my heart. I really felt the adoration on his eyes that so much I'll remember forever; I always questioned myself what did I do to deserve this.

"Okay... Sigh... But don't do it on outdoor!" I crossed my arm and pouted my lips in a cute way he would always call.

"Okay Kana, but where's your mother?"

"Oh, she said she won't be here because she has a very important meeting, but she said she'll come back."

"Sou ka...hmmm Neh, Kana-chan lets go home so that you can open quickly your gift."

I grabbed his sleeves and began to with a fast pace. The excitement were all washing my face, knowing gifts were the best thing—But as quickly as our pace, without warning, I suddenly caught an image of a young blonde standing in the crowd. It got me stopped from my thoughts, and gifts were all forgotten. A sharp needle thrust my heart and all of a sudden my stomach tightened; I almost curled my knees on the middle of the road.

I stopped and searched it again- but didn't saw it again. Possibly it was a stupid hallucination, a very stupid one.

* * *

When the night appeared, my father tucked me in my bed while whispering me some sweet words. It was usually my mother who did the rituals but knowing she wasn't by my side, my father did it all.

Silently I was starting to submit myself in a wonderland-but it was apparently all forgotten. The shouting of my parents had successfully distracted me in my slumber. I had actually deduced that it was probably simple argument but the harsh sounds of their words that were echoing contradicted my assumptions.

I walked out of the room with nervous feeding me up, as I planned to know what the problem was. I made my steps light so they wouldn't know i was there listening.

"How could they!? First they loathed me by marrying you then all of a sudden they want us live in compound." I heard my mother indignation as I tried listening to them.

"Naomi, I think there's nothing wrong with it- Maybe they realized something or maybe it was for the better." My father spoke while trying to soothe my mother with his soft spoken words.

"No! They also want Kana's last name to change her name to Uchiha! Her name should be Kana Takara not Uchiha."

I was really worried why someone would want to change surname, unless my mother wanted to file a separation with my father, which was too impossible. And, The Uchiha? The name was too familiar to me. I might I heard it somewhere but i couldn't remember how and when, but it just ticked inside me. I wanted to dig in my memories, search the word for it, but I knew that I only I had were vague, because some of it were lost or broken inside my head

"Kaa-san?" I stepped and they both stared at me with surprise.

"Sweetie, you should be sleeping." Mom walked then grabbed my shoulder.

"I couldn't. Both of your voices were too loud... Kaa-san what do you mean by name isn't going to be Takara anymore?" i spoke. Looking with her onyx eyes, made me want to know the whole truth why she was against with it. It wasn't my place to demand answer but i needed to know the truth perhaps.

She sighed, clenching her fist that were holding both of my shoulder, before contemplating an answer with my question; I winced a little" My Families were all shinobi and so was I."

There, my breath changed, heart started to pound erratically that it ached inside me by this time. I didn't how the word 'shinobi' got effect on me, which made my body acted cruelly.

The lacked of oxygen making me hard to rationalize, due to tightness in my chest. Where all the air was when i needed the most?

"Kana are you okay?" This time it was my father noticed my discomfort. He gently patted my back.

"Yeah, I was little bit surprise. Kaa-san."i breathed as I recovered."May you continue with your story?" I replied as i regained control in my body, trying to compose myself.

"Alright" she sighed."I have a clan named Uchiha clan and most of us are shinobi. My mother and father one day decided me a marriage with son of clan head. It was a responsibility I should held-but i felt it was wrong and injustice, so I escaped and married whom i truly loved. Then, I angered all the elders and the head weren't happy with my decision i made, so they both... decided now that child of mine should be named as an Uchiha. It was only to preserved their name and heritage since knowing that our genes were dominant." Mother said while tightly gripping my hand. "I know that it was so selfish of me..But don't worry, I'll find a way to solve this problem." Her lips thinned; her eyes reflecting how sorry she was on me with small tears threatening to spill on her onyx eyes.

My emotions were all riled up; I really couldn't really afford, seeing her face in a state that I wouldn't wish to see again in future, but i tried to hide it behind all in my mind. It was maybe a small price to pay to what i have, to what i hid between them. I was cruel to them, to her, and to my father. I knew they deserve to know the truth but i was selfish, and the fear of rejection ruled my judgment. I was a traitor; betray them without knowledge i kept between them.

"Are you okay Kana?" Mother looked me with intensity of worry.

"Yes, I think i need to sleep now Kaa-san... My head is aching."

"Okay... Darling."

my mother had tucked me again successfully in bed, kissing my eyes while mumbling apologies, then proceeded to leave me as she thought I had fallen asleep. But the as soon as the door closed, the feelings that I kept entire years of my existence had spilled as I couldn't control anymore. My hiccups were silent and tears were flooding. My past memories weren't vivid; I couldn't recall how, but I knew that I was not normal.


	3. Chapter 3

_They're staring. They're staring. There must be something wrong with me._

Looking around the room that had a high ceiling and milky brown paint on the wall making me want to eject the contents of my stomach through the my mouth, but I chose not to screw up and embarrass myself. I felt like a stupid bunny while staring on the bunch of kiddies on my eyesight. In other way around, this was bit too early for me to enter the academy (in the age of course) but my mother insisted that I'm ready for it, which had caused dilemma at first. Though hard to believe as it was, apparently my good mother was not one to sit and wait, she always find a way in spite of some few circumstances, like the perfect example was, she didn't have enough power to change my name surname because of council. She had been frustrated about it for a month ever since I found out or more likely she told me.

"Class we have a new addition in our class... Now, please introduce yourself and your goals." As my new sensei hold me and shamelessly put me in the center of the class.

All stopped as their attention aroused and started looking at me. It was not that bad but the transparency of their surprise making me uncomfortable. I chewed and made me bit my lips and held my breath before finding strength to speak without stuttering. Breathe in. Breathe out. It was going to be alright "Hi? I'm Kana Uchiha and my goal is... secret." Okay. That was a lie. I really no had idea what to do with my new life. It wasn't on my list to be reborn again.

"You're an Uchiha?" The girl had a black hair and gleaming onyx eyes had asked with a pure curiosity to her face.

"Hmm…Obviously Yes."

Surprise was everywhere, and then another boy threw a question at me." Why your dream is should be label Secret? Does it involve world domination" I really found it so cute. Though I wasn't really serious about it.

Lifting my thumb to my lips as I forced to stop making fun of myself because of the hilarity of the situation I got in. "it's a secret!" I couldn't hold back anymore so I giggled out of out of blue that made get all their attentions because of my weirdness.

To distract me as i almost forgot another existence right beside me, Nagase-sensei interrupted them and -of course-me by clearing his throat. It was the clear translation of getting back to business." Kana-chan you may sit in the back with some available chair."

I quickly picked and settled on the desk beside the window where I could see most beautiful sceneries that nature could offer. The teacher's voice reigned once again, starting to tackle the last discussion they had before they were interrupted. My classmates started to jot down about math problems that were written in the black board, in which I already encountered in my past life. It was all about basic arithmetic problem, so no sweat if I put no concentration about it. Unlike one that I had solved during my college years that made my brain explode. I had once pondered why I had chose the hardest course beside the problems were all troublesome to solve, but after years had passed, the salary was worth it after I passed and graduated.

I twirled the tips of my silky brown tresses by my fingertips out of boredom, while still looking at sensei, but not pouring attention to his discussion.

Everything bored me down. Here and there were like starting all over again. Rolling my eyes around the room, and sadly found only estimated three fourths of them were listening to sensei; the typical elementary life. Well, the first row were listening carefully, the middle row only had half of them were listing to their notes due some of them busy talking rather choosing to be attentive. The rows in front of me were bunch of girls giggling. Lastly, I turning my head and shifted my gaze across the chair beside me, continuing my observation while I lazily put my palm on my face. Then surprise splashed all over me when I saw the guy again; I knew the blonde hair was not unnoticeable. It was his-the same kid I saw on the middle of the crowd that made my stomach wrench in pain. He was just listening, diligently; don't care about what was happening around him. I found myself was disturbingly suffering minor headache. I don't know why and how.

I wanted to ask myself what's with him making me so very sick; perhaps, the kid got a special virus him. As much I wanted to humor myself wondering about him so badly, but I reminded myself, these past few days there were lot of things happened to me and my family, so I brushed what was bothering to me about him. I had enough on my plate, so why put another one?

I sighed then stared at the window beside me, not caring about sensei's discussion. Rather, I stared to the beautiful trees, butterflies, and grey sky.

 _'It'll pass off, like most of children would do their childish curiosity.'_

* * *

'Drip...Drip...Drip...Drop...drip...drop'

I should have known what grey sky was for but mind bogging as it was, I did not. It hadn't occurred the mere possibility of coming of horrendous storm, for the reason forecast weather doesn't exist by the way. Earlier, the raindrops started with a small quantity, and I expectedly it would stop but all of sudden it got heavy in a seconds. It even doubled when I started praying to stop. Was universe trying to joke on me or something?

The Leaves were flying everywhere and the loud drops on the ceiling were echoing. Wind swaying the liquids as it fall through on the grounds and made a ripple on the puddle. I kept looking on it while waiting rain to stop crying while standing. I like the coldness kissing my skin while shivering, but at the same time, i hate wetness for particular reason that it always reminded me something and someone.

Nagase-sensei dismissed the class around four pm, from that time the rain started without a warning. I was really hoping to go home early but the nature went against on me, and I stupidly forgot my umbrella.

While looking intently to the midway black and sad sky, a voice- i almost took as my imagination-had snapped to my thoughts. "Hey, you're still here?" I turned around; startled to find a girl around my age holding an umbrella, smiling at me.

Slowly, I stared on the ground." Yeah" a short reply of mine, biting my lip out of shame. I knew I was no good at social. I had tried it once and I miserably failed.

The silence passed us, the only thing I could hear was the loud thunder. I was really hoping she had already left but the kid was curious, so I might humor her for a while.

"Why?" she supplied

I turned my eyes on the window then watched the sky, knowing it wouldn't stop for another hour because of heavy rain its pouring on the ground." I am waiting for rain to stop because I forgot my umbrella." I sighed at the same time mentally praying to stop the rain.

I heard footsteps; I thought she was bored and decided to walk away, but I got it wrong. The next episode she did that had made me yelp in surprised. The audacity of being fearless and daring were notable. She had grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it and forcefully met her gaze with orbs radiating irritation.

She smiled while I saw sparkles and irritated eyes, and I was wondering why..."Is that so? You should've asked me! Baka! - "Not caring anymore what the next words would be, I zoned out- as it caught me off guard.

The last three minutes I spent of spacing out, her last words playing all over again like broken recorder. It made my heart lit up with warm glow, but I had mentally slashed the insult because that would ruin the atmosphere. I was least expecting someone to offer me sharing under umbrella in the most unfortunate moment.

"B-But-" I tried mumbled my protest but she cut it off.

"No buts! Let's go." Without further more ado she grabbed my hand and walked beside her; I conceded.

As we both walking down the rain not caring how harsh her hold was, my lips curled up; it made me truly felt child once again and remind me someone that I used to know.

"My name is Yoshino Nara. What's yours?" She mumbled while gritting her teeth of coldness.

"Kana Uchiha" I smiled warmly hoping that...maybe only maybe something was going to blossom between us. Particularly, I hate rain but it gave me reason to love it.

* * *

Authors note: Thank you for those who reviewed….

Probably the rating might go up...But it really depends upon inspiration and mood...so you've been warned! Hahaha Evil me!


	4. Chapter 4

Although i was covered from head to toe but i could not deny how humidity around the air was almost tangible when it touched on my skin-making me shiver in pleasure-. It even swayed my hair- dancing according to its desire. A smoky breeze appeared as i exhaled it and appeared scattering around my visage, like a fluffy cloud of smoke. All the neon lights were on as the elegant blue painted the sky, the singing of familiar songs were played, the buzzing of headlights of vehicles were everywhere, and here, I was standing in the middle of the city while seeing the people scattering around me.

 _So cold that i couldn't take anymore._

I moved a step but with hundreds of people surround me, it was expected for me to be squeezed like a sponge when both bodies crushing me helplessly. It denied me the basic need of life, and that is to breath. It always happened; it was comprehendible that one was excited to bring home their gifts with their families, knowing it was the best season in the year, and almost everyone was celebrating it. However it had opposite effect on me.

The sudden vibration in my pocket had caught my attention while walking in the crowd. I supposed it was not the best time to answer but instinct told me something was up which was not funny.

"Hi?... Cass, what's up?" I hoarsely said. The climate had gotten on me as i couldn't resist the cold that was seeping in me.

"Hey, Prim! You sound sick; you sure you're alright?"

"Nah, I'm not. The cold got me and probably I really sound stupid now because of blocked nose. So what made you call at me?"

"You stupid! Aunt Miranda has been calling me, minutes ago. She kept telling me you didn't answer her calls-" it was quickly cut off when a rude guy violently bumped me on my shoulder in which almost threw me in the ground, but still i got some of her words.

"What? I-I must be out of coverage." i continued while biting my lips. The taste of my lie was so soft and quick but also disgusting, and the sickening stench words of mine were acids in my mouth. I hate it and despise it, knowing that i love them yet i had the sense to do it-especially with them.

A sigh was heard in my phone, enough for my heart to fasten its pace. I suddenly stopped my strides, giving myself a sense of comfort and regulate my whole body to normal, and decided to wait a cab nearby. "Out of coverage? Where in the mountains are you to be out coverage? It's Christmas. You should be in your home with Aunt Miranda and Peter." She spoke with indignation present every word.

I sighed. "Cass, I-I'm... in the mall, so most likely the signal might be too low, so i didn't notice quickly. But i did tell them before i left that i would be gone, so I'm really sorry they did bother you."

"Nah, it wasn't big but please you should go home. They're really worried about you; they said you've been getting late." the last words were whispery spoken but the soft worries spoke more loudly in those lines.

I paused my steps, the harsh clenched on my phone was my only response by the moment. My heart had oppressed so long that it suffered a painful aches that it almost made me hard to inhale the cold breeze was passing through my face. The pure fact was layers of guilt won my body. It was slowly unfold and coming like a tidal waves. Each of it were bitter and sour, and no matter how much i wanted to vomit the taste of it, i couldn't help it but swallow it hard and feel the anguish flavor . I fully wanted to reject it cruelly, but i had no right to do it. It was only fitting for me to deserve the consequences.

"Prim? You still there?" her voiced broke my inner dilemma.

I thinned my lips before i could supply another reply to her. "Oh Yes, Yes. I'm going home."

"Better Be! I'll hang this up. Mom shouting my name and its echoing through the hallway...Byeee. Ok! Wait a moment I'll be there!"

I stared to the sky, yet still holding the phone in my palms. All the same as I've had last seen- painted in blue color while the some fluffy clouds were floating- but for the time being i only had the eyes for the brilliance of the stars that were exquisitely burning so brightly; the gut wrenching realization was unsettling because the sheer irony were mocked to my face.

 _'Your eyes are shining blue, almost like a star.'_

Why would someone compare me to the beauty of stars? Didn't they know those beautiful like stars would never equal to me, such creature like me never deserve the burning elegance of beauty of light. Such a stupidity even for me to humor myself for a stupid statement. _So stupid_

* * *

The calm breeze blowing to their faces as they sat on bench while staring to the beautiful sceneries around both of them. There were some kids running and playing but they chose to sit and watch, enjoying each company.

"Kana- chan, don't you sometimes find hard time studying while not having any kind of notes?" Yoshino inquired to her new found friend.

Although knowing her for a short moment that didn't hinder her to care about her. The mere truth she had been worrying about her since she did not once saw her lift a pencil during class or writing on a paper! She knew she was having hard time to adapt to class, so she understood most of it because she seems to be young to be qualified as a student, but it did not mean for her not to worry about it. She really likes Kana. To be honest, she found her unique among what were told her about clan. For an Uchiha, she seemed to be different, well if you could exclude the eyes, but not one she could be easily to judge. The companionship with her was almost comforting for her. She smiled, laughed and frowned, just like any human. The bond she had formed with undeniably unexplainable.

She admits; it was alien to her meeting Kana. That day was still in her mind. She saw her staring to the dark sky, the tranquility surrounded her made drawn her to her but all in end it was worth it. Because once upon a time someone once had been feeding about Kana's clan were surrounded cold blooded person but she supposed it was very grave mistake. A big one.

She was different. She was warm, and with only smile you could almost feel it- like hot chocolate during cold nights.

That was enough for her.

Sighing, only still not getting her reply, she looked at her, but then found her gaze was steadily to something but too blank to know where it was pointing."Kana?" she inquired again, eyes crinkled in worried.

Not being the patient one, she crossed her arms out of irritation, and then decided to break the silence, only because she hated it how it was reigning both of them. She lifted her hand, fingers pointing to poke her vulnerable flesh- knowing the result that she would come to her senses.

When she had done it, shocked sweep over her body so rapidly. she had unexpectedly got an unusual response.

Kana had flinched tremendously.

Then gasped.

Yoshino's eyes were wide fixated on as the horror of what she had done, hands froze halfway when guilt and regret sink in her. she knew it wasn't normal flinched of surprise but more likely flinched because of fear, and she was sure of it. Every ounce of fear were oozing out of her body that couldn't escape to her wary eyes. The tremble of her body did not escape also to her sharp senses, even the way she massaged her neck. The confusion was starting to scramble her brain.' _what had she done?'_

"Yo-Yoshino- chan!" she spoke with mild alarm present every parts of her body.

But Yoshino surely saw the panic in her eyes, it was surely intriguing. For a moment, she had realized briefly; it was almost she didn't see the Kana she had been friend with but a stranger.

 _There must be something wrong with her._

Yoshino was not Nara for nothing, although she would let it slip but yet she was willing to wait her words of explanations, because she was her friend and she would respect her-like a friend would always do.

Yoshino's lips thinned." You zoned out" she said and gripping her hand tightly as a sign of her comfort.

* * *

"I did?" whispery i said while seeing the intense gaze on her, like she was breaking me to parts from whole, and each of it were critically analyze. It was disturbing for age like to be perceptive.

Honestly, I was not even aware i had zoned out. All i could remember was both of decided to sit and looking to the loads of green leaves that were swaying with the wind-that made me in yawn and relaxed-, then after seconds my body reacted viciously when a someone touched the most sensitive flesh i have on the crooked of my neck without owning a knowledge that it was Yoshino's doing. The tender flesh of mine got a pinprick of pain. Then recollection of my past had happened so flash, and I almost lost control of my body. I had supposed it was safely hidden in my deep and locked away forever in my subconscious but i commit an error- more like miscalculate-. It would always come out no matter i try to hide it, for the reason it was a reminder of who i am. It had been a long time since someone touched me there, and it made me uncomfortable when she did it but not i could blame her. I knew Yoshino had triggered something i hate to remember for the rest of my life but i couldn't condemn her for that. That would be selfish of me and injustice.

She poked me again but this time near on my lips."Un! I was asking about your notes. what are you thinking by the way that you almost out of this world hmm?" lips pouting and her

"Oh... i didn't mean to ignore you. I was busy looking the trees." i pointed the trees across us.

"Really? why?" she insisted. So stubborn enough to drop the subject.

"uhhh...ehh... because-"

"Oh! i see now.. You've been looking to someone!" She smirked. Oh how much i hate those smirk of hers. Being friend with her for a week's made me know a lots of her. The kid was such a nagged, there was no way i could say no; Ever since the rain occurred, she wouldn't stop bugging me. It could be annoying but sometimes i shrugged it off about it and make it tolerable. Because The sudden realization came in me, the more i look her closely, her good characteristics stands out the most, and it was better.

"What?" i replied but her sweet and sickly smile of her wouldn't stop. Annoying, so annoying.

She put her thumb lips then crossed her arms while she settled her gaze on me." You've been looking to that tree, and Shibi also been there ever since your eyes landed on it. So you like the aburame." It was not a question but a statement and that was enough to drive me to insanity.

 _Where the eff she got her statement._

"You're stupid Yoshino-chan. I don't even know him and probably he don't know me."

"But you like him, Right?" then her lips curled up higher. "Oh, goodie...I have a perfect plan." she cheerily spoke while throwing fist in the air.

My jaws almost dropped on the floor. Gosh this girl was getting ridiculous the more time i spend with her. "I don't like him!" i whined childishly.

"Shut up! You're in denial."

Words choked down on my throat when air invaded because of the astonishment of surprise. And before i could reply my left hand was tightly gripped by hers as she started to dragged me forcefully.

' _Oh Dear, This is probably not a good plan'._

* * *

"Yoshino-chan, please listen to me." I whispered. As i was i aware she was hiding beneath the desk, for only it would work only on me that what she discussed earlier.

A moment ago , she had decided-gladly stopped her gripped on my hand-both of us to stop in the classroom when knowing any moment Shibi-the kid she claimed the one who stole my heart- will arrive the room. It was foolish and so very childish, but she wouldn't let me back out. The plan of hers was perfectly cliché and would work on movies but not on real life. Damn. This had to one of the most humiliating event in my life, and there was no way i would be smitten to a child. Here, still i am wondering why i am friend with her.

"Stop being a baby, i know you can do this." she whispered back.

"I'm not being baby! I really don't like him."

A ponderous strides disturbed us and made me shifted my attention to the door. Each steps were echoing. It was slow but heavy and each of it correspond Panic to my stomach, i felt it tightened and gurgling inside me. The anguish inside me making my fist clenched to my dress so tightly, enough to rip it.

"Please, Yoshino-chan." i pleaded once again and all hoping she would stop this nonsense.

"Shh! He's coming."

"You're Evil" i answered with strain hoarse sounded in my throat.

Only her giggles were her reply. I couldn't decide if this was good or not. She wouldn't likely dropped the subject earlier but, however, this was not also a good diversion of her attention. This whole fiasco might come out good But between the two choices, i chose the lesser evil. What wonderful happening i had, so much i wanted to celebrate with cake and balloon hanging around the air.

The heave steps were nearing and my heartbeats wouldn't stop thumping fast. My head was making me floating in the cloud nine at the same time my heart making me hard to breath. I really needed to stop being nervous but i couldn't somehow. 'This is ridiculous!'

 _It was nearing._

Sweat dripping on face. I decided momentary to close eyes but being uncomfortable i opened it again.

The door creaked.

Oh god here it goes

I held my breath for a moment and lips parted."I-um-I" i stopped as my stomach pained doubled out of the blue though i tried rubbing by palm as i thought it would be the remedy at the moment." li-like you and please" I paused again then with all the force i collected around the small space, i met his eyes. On the contrary to my belief and expectation, surprise and humiliated got me when blue eyes pierced confusion look on me and blonde locks burned my eyes. "ma- marry me?" i finish slowly with shame with my boldness of my stupidity. My throat constricted when the vile stench were already reaching my taste bud, and my whole body went incapable of moving, like statue. It felt like the whole dropped in my grasp then time paused. Holy kimchi! I confessed to a wrong guy! The earth can swallow me alive now.

 _'Oh mother fried chicken. OhgodOhgodod Swallow me now'_

Even being buried to my humiliation, the churning of stomach was aching, making my situation worsen. As i couldn't resist the torture sickening state i was suffering, all the unpleasant feeling were released, only because the strength to hold any more had dropped dramatically. Hands clenching my stomach and head bow down when all the disgusting sour bile reached out on my throat. It keeps flowing out of my mouth and falling through the floor. Luckily the air flow again inside me and pain eased out because of it, though unpredictably I felt heavy and then all seemed to be black again when eyes closed; the last thing i heard was someone shouting my name.

* * *

AN: Building up some Character background… Though I don't find this chapter appealing while writing.

Thank you for the reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my oc

AN: Please forgive me if you happened to spot some grammatical errors.

When you close your eyes, darkness starts to embrace every part of you. Nothingness came everywhere then everything would be endless. I couldn't grasp how it all started but with absence of everything, it scared me. I was so scared all over again. I wanted to open my eyes, and escape from this feeling that was eating me. But with the scorching heat wrapped around me made it so impossible.

A sudden gentle yet familiar heat stroked me, slowly it unveil mother's visage through a dim light, as cautiously my vision opened.

"Glad to see you wake up. You really made us worried. I should have known that you were not feeling okay yesterday, but seems that you're okay now." She spoke while twirling my long tresses.

"What happened Kaa-san?" I uttered with my hoarse voice while tasting the some bile that were left on my mouth.

"Two students had reported to Nagase-san you had fallen unconscious. It was then your father and I got a report that it was you. Kana, don't you ever keep a secret if you're feeling unwell, okay?"

I nodded with understanding. Looking through my window, it was already dark. I was more hopeful to give thanks to Yoshino but maybe it could wait for after tonight. My body wasn't yet ready. I was aware of that fact, but I couldn't fathom the wretched pain making to my body. It was perhaps too long since I've had experienced to be in pain and in exhaustion - not that I was wishing. Although it was acceptable reason, but what i was going through felt like one of those days when my whole body automatically shut off after doing a long files, presentation, and strategical plannings. So much that I wanted to take a break and make it through my bed, but unfortunately I got a long one that I hadn't expected, it even killed me in the process.

My mother's thinned lips kissed me on my forehead." Rest now, Kana."

* * *

I smiled to her then she softly arranged the sheets. "Goodnight,"

"Goodnight too and sleep well, Hime-chan. " That was all I heard from her before I succumbed to dream.

"Baka! Kana-chan. I thought you were going to be dead. I was so scared." Those were the exact words before she attacked me breathless hug from the moment our class ended. I couldn't deny how I was so spoiled with so much attention I had with these people around me.

"Oh, I scared you? I should do that more often. "I joked, keeping her wide eyes even bigger.

" Don't you dare! I had almost a nightmare. I-I was so really scared you wouldn't wake up." she murmured slowly, heads down and any moment her eyes I knew would start crying.

Guilt got me, realizing how harsh it was sounded than I intended. I had left no choice but to lift my hands and hold to hug her. " I'm sorry for scaring you, Yoshino-chan."

"It was only good that Minato-kun was there to help or else I didn't know what to do anymore." she crossed her arms then all of sudden pinning me with her glare. I swear she and mom had all the similarities with their moods shifting fast as the wind passing by.

"Who's Minato? " My eyes crinkled in confusion.

"Minato was the one actually saw you. You know... Even you threw up on his shirt he still helped me finding Nagase-sensei. You were disgusting by that time if you want to know."

My nose wrinkled to her brutally yet honest words. One thing sometimes I like about her, she was honest to the bones that it even hurt, disappointment, glad me in the process. Although she was maybe right, I couldn't imagine myself throwing up disgustingly to the poor and helpless guy. If I was on the same situation, without a doubt i would cringe in disgust. I must have really to apologize but I was lacked of idea who was he. From that moment, I could not quietly catch up who had been there; and my vague memories mixing up, I was helpless.

"That was so nice of him." I unconsciously said, then starting walking to my home.

"Hai! Minato-kun is nice and smart. He's even in the list of top." she said with a lit admiration on her voice. It even made me more want to see him and thank him.

I halted my steps quickly, our eyes met but hers only had the confusion of why I stopped. I bit my lips to stifle my laugh but I just need to spout this one for my revenge. "Ah! Yoshino-chan got a crush on someone! "I started then laughed while running away from her to save myself from miserable consequences I might have.

"Kana-chan!" she shouted, catching me.

* * *

"Chakra is connected to our lifeline but we shouldn't always rely on it. We need to balance out our strengths and weaknesses. This kunai would be your start, but for now you're only going to familiarize it. You'll going to have practice for weeks to prepare your practical exam." Sensei explained while showing the sharp knife all around us and the right stance of throwing it.

By that time, I was the only one repulsed to the idea of students throwing knife. Forsakes! We're only toddler to play around something dangerous. From what I recalled at this age of my past life, I was eating mud and playing sand castle while making Barbie the princess. When my mother said ninja, I thought it was kind of words that would make a child comfortable but I wasn't prepared to be literally.

A thud disturbed me. I raised my head but when a kunai was lying on my desk, the surged of intense anxiety came out nowhere. Every now and then I saw weapons; all I could think was my bloody murder.

"Kana-chan are you alright?" Sensei voice snapped my whole attention, bringing my unanticipated alarmed eyes to his proximity.

" Yes, sensei. " I breathed out despite the entire parts of me feeling exactly opposite.

Afterwards, we were required to practice out the classroom, assigning us each designated tree to throw the weapon. All of them had grasped the knowledge but I was remained froze on my spot, not knowing what to do, leaving a stare to the unmoving weapon on my hand and to the tree across me with a three circles then a red bullseye. From not far meters away from me, Yoshino began throwing with a languid movement, and so everyone else. It felt like all of them practicing this ever since or rather they were born to do this. This made me out of place.

With a little hope, I tried doing it. But unfortunately it didn't go near to the target. I tried again but the results were even worse. But it didn't falter me to stop, although with every attempt there was no sign of progression.

My muscle trembled, a warning that I was near drowning of exhaustion, if I wouldn't stop I would drop dead unconscious again.

The sweat oozed out my body, my breath laboured as I was trying catching the air. Both feet supporting me suddenly knocked my butt down the grass harshly for the reason of countless times I threw the knife; and with no more to do, I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the cool air blowing my hair. It was really soothing inside of me while taking pleasure of gripping the grass on my hands.

"You're doing it wrong." An unfamiliar disturbed me from my little escape.

My eyes set opened, making it whirl around then shot him a gaze as soon I witnessed who it was. It was him. The child- always giving me funny feeling and perplexity-was a meter away from me. I don't know but there was always part me just ticks and made me want to rummage my whole memories just to satisfy this unbearable curiosity. It was like I saw him somewhere. Although I know exactly that it was utterly ridiculous, because as far I could remember I never met him or I thought so.

"Huh?" I said in bafflement of sudden intrusion.

"You are doing it wrong. You gave so much force and the stance was not applicable." He said, raising a kunai.

I just bit my cheeks to embarrassment heightened to my face. Give me a financial statements and I'll analyze it without further ado. But my ego wasn't building up with this nerve wrecking subject, but then I would endure this so not exciting knife on my hand.

"Really, then please show me how." I announced bluntly, merely annoyed to myself than to him.

His body shifted and then gliding the knife exactly hit the bullseye without a sweat. I swear hearing myself internally cursing. The beads of sweat dripping to my face and yet I couldn't master this, but while him it took seconds to gracefully hit the target. My mouth ran dry for a moment.

As I was drowning of tiredness, I stoop up quick with motivation sparked in me, trying to imitate of what he did, with all hoping I would get it right. If he could do it, then there was no reason for me not to!

As soon I let it flew to the air, It easily destroyed my self esteem I built. It was definitely helpless. It didn't even hit one circle.

I groaned out of frustration. But as quick as I gave up, surprise overtook me when my hand gently hoisted up then put it on position on stance. To add more, he put the cold metal, guiding me to curl it. Then all things perhaps froze in time, as pure astonishment and surprise swept in me without a warning. I was left speechless.

"You're hand doesn't balance the force you gave away that was why you can't hit because it misdirect the kunai." He spoke, directing the aim of kunai through the tree.

With this position I felt light, I sighed heavily, and then once more threw it, letting it to the wind. But when a light thud was heard, I put my gaze to the target, and that it all takes to make my whole mood swiftly change. My wide vision saw the sight I was really wanted all along. With all the time I spent in exhaustion, I got the result I wanted! It never hit the bullseye but it was near! That I was so gladly enjoying the success.

"I did it? " Gosh, I sounded like a crap but who cares. I was so happy and I just couldn't contain it within me;It even made our bodies collided."You're genius!"

"No, I- uh..was only correcting you." He casually smiled for a bit, knowing I was yet done with celebrating.

"Doesn't matter," I whispery muttered, even after feeling daze." Thank you though, I really thought I couldn't do thi-" Without a warning my words cut off as soon as another presence was felt behind my back.

"Minato-kun!" Yoshino's tone proclaimed before setting my eyes to her with bewilderment etched to my face. " You're...here?" she asked.

 _'Minato? Where did I hear that name again?'_

"Hai, I helped Kana-chan doing her practice." His lopsided lips remained, putting his arms on his head.

"Ah.. Oh! Sensei already dismissed us ten minutes ago, saying we'll continue next meeting." she spoke then turned her head to me."You?! I was looking for you, I thought you already had left." she pointed quickly.

"Hai, Thank you Yoshino-chan," He stepped backwards.

And before any reply could make out to my lips, I was suddenly found myself dragging viciously by hand on my arm that was gripping me so hard.

My eyes went straight to him, seeing him farther bit by bit, then instantly lifted my hand as I wave in a haste my goodbye to him, trying not to be so rude despite being abruptly dragged.

"Ja ne Minato-kun!" Yoshino lastly said without turning her back.

 _' Minato? Where did I hear that name again?'_

 _'Minato! Oh god,'_


	6. Chapter 6

While I was laying on the floor with my thinned strap summer dress that fit on my body , my feet was on the ground and head on the post; the sun rays beamed to my skin and the heat embraced me, and wind didn't cease playing my long tresses. It was summer yet it didn't stop to give a supply a cool air. It was good weather to indulge outdoor.

On my eyes where it sat, found my mother on her knees- plowing the garden she made weeks ago. She quitely liked it how she did that- assuming the humming was the good indication of her apparent mood.

School was over and summer was fast approaching. Beside the fact school was over exhausting, nothing grandiose happened. I was pretty sure I did well on my subjects but perhaps my mother was expecting more from a certain subjects I didn't do well. I don't need words to hear her expectation, but the moment she held those papers had my results, I knew those orbs at my reading.

"Would please give this to your Kaa-san?" said my father, who was holding a full glass of juice.

"Hai,"

I stood then gently handed the glass of juice- which the strong exquisite scent of lemon reached to my nostrils. I continued walking with gentle strides, making sure it didn't spilled anything. As I had arrived, there she was on her knees with the glistening of sweat and mud covered her arms.

A brief exhaled of her exhaustion wad heard. I leaned to the chair where it was near beside her. When she raised her head, it all had the faint smudges of dirt all over cheeks and forehead. Her cheeks we're colored up because of the heat exposed. Though tainted all over, but didn't stop her making the garden beautiful, as it was covered of flowers- and some of it had strong and pleasant scents.

"Kaa-san, tou-san gives this,"

She turned; bit her dry lips as soon as she saw the glass on my hands. "Thank you, Kana."

I'd just put it near her, in which she clawed it to quench her thirst. I was left standing, watching her every gulp she made. Left nothing to do, the boredom was starting to crawl and killing me slowly. Slowly I curled my toes, digging it to the ground with my slippers on. I was convinced for whole minute there was nothing to do elevate this sense of worthless, but a bright bulb flashed to me, causing me a rush excitement on my nerves with my blood sings with it also. Who could have thought such cliché idea would make me feel this way.

Plows and tools were there. Although, before I could have my hands there, my mother's voice rang through the air like a thunder always after the lightning- as if she read my mind. "Kana, Don't,"

"I want to help," I said with my lips pouting.

"As much I appreciate really wanted to do with you, I'd like you to be clean for this day."

"But I need to do something!" I whined.

Her stern eyes didn't budge on my face. "Sweetie, I'd like for you to be cleaned," she emphasized the clean so much that it cringed me to fear. "Because tonight we'll be somewhere, and I need you to be beyond clean for today, so I wouldn't have extra time to deal with another bath time, honey. Do you understand?"

"But-"

"Do you understand?" She said with her eyebrow lift, and eyes set on me if I dare to challenge her.

"Yes, Kaa-san" I conceded, head down while watching the grasses on my feet.

"Good. Go to your father and help him prepare the lunch. "Her last word to me before I went inside the house.

...

I gripped my hand hard due to my uncontrollable anxiety building up inside me. I let out a harsh breathe three times already. I wasn't expecting this- an unimaginable amount of people of the same relative, flooding every corner of the place. Everyone's eyes peirced on me, for I was like a sore eyes to them. Imagine with everyone had a black hair, I was the only one had the shiny brown hair, which was almost good as ' look at me' banner sign.

I looked up then saw this elegant light, shimmering above. Successfully enough to distract me from they're prying eyes. It wasn't cool to be their under fixation, whom maybe thought about me being weirdo because of my appearance. So very different among them.

It was an hour ago; I was informed we were invited to a gathering. And to think, It was my first time doing such thing like this, attending soiree or midnight lunch. Although how much I love parties and foods, I'd rather they leave me alone. Attentions to me are so unappreciated.

While I was verge of withdrawal, beside me was my mother, who apparently giving them a less satisfying nonchalant glance. I don't even know if it's a thing they always do or a mission- giving a hard analyzing gaze.

"Naomi, glad you came." came a voice from my back.

An old man had a grayish hair approached us, walking with grace. By the he arrived, He kneeled down as he had laid his eyes on me, so we could be the same level of height. But before he could touch any of my hair, I was pulled back with power- almost I felt like paper -quickly and shield me away from him.

"Why, Naomi? Deny me to my little girl whom I think is beautiful as you when you're young. But only not the hair, I thought I was looking another you. Some features are undeniably ours." He spoke with fondness.

"Ha! Don't be ridiculous. I was only here because my husband wants her to be here. He wants you to see her. So don't jump to any conclusion that I am here because of this gathering. "Mother replied with urgency.

His eyes narrowed, thinned his lips before speaking." The husband of yours? It's rather fascinating how these years people to believe what they see. Yet, my dear Naomi. You could never master it despite the years you've gone through." His smiled widened, confusing me more. "But you're crafty, and that's remarkable."

With all those words, Mother's hand clenched hardly to me. "I-I uh.. I don't know what you're talking about!" She spat.

" Believe what you want me to believe. And here I thought you're here to let me meet my little girl, whom I was denied for the last six years. "

"I wouldn't if the stupidity of this family doesn't run thick in the blood."

" Hush, Naomi! You don't know what your mouth spitting."

"Let us be done here, father. I'd rather not waste your precious time."

"You sadden me so much, Naomi."

Carefully, their argument ended as we pace around to a certain room. Whispers began when three of us entered. The incorrigible murmurs scattered around the air. The old man-or more appropriately and shockingly was my grandpa- had led us to a room which had a room of people but with minimal amount.

There was a long table flooded of foods and some wine besides. The aroma reached to my nostrils had me almost want to devour each course. Each of us began to sit, where I was across from a certain girl in the same age of me. Smile plastered on my face, but all I got was her confused visage.

"Glad to see you again, Onee-san," A lady with sleek Bob cut greeted.

"So am I, Yumi-chan," mother curtly nodded.

"Where is Fugaku, Yumi?" Inquired by my grandpa when he was settled on his seat.

"I'm afraid he's not fit to be here. His sickness has been not going well,"

"Ahh! Poor child. Though I admire him that he got full outstanding remarks."

"Of course that is what to be expected for an heir," another old man replied. "Unlike-"

Cut off when a loud grunt made by grandfather.

It seemed all the tension died down and the dinner began. For a room full of people, they valued silence. The clang of utensils started and soon, so was I joined with them.

"What about you, dear?" An impromptu question. For at first I was ignorant for whom it was. I guess I wasn't expecting a special attention from anyone.

Suddenly, Time froze and everything went blank, and the whole room went quite; while I was near ravaging the food in front of me had to stop, and forced to meet his eyes- which was- if I didn't misunderstood it-demanding an answers.

"She did well," my mother intercepted.

"I wasn't asking you, Naomi," His authoritative voice rang, and then got my nerves panicking.

His focused began to pour more on me, and then the whole people on the room were waiting for me.

"I-I think I agreed with mother." I stuttered and bit my lip to it.

"How so?"

My whole body was shaking. It wasn't fear of him. It was more like a fear fooling myself from a dozen of eyes and bodies witnessing inside the room. Fear shaming my mother. Without my notice, I didn't even know I began to clench my palm so hard, numb enough that I can't feel the pain.

Two sighs and tongue out to caress my lower lip. I realize self composed was what I need and that's what I achieved. I tried keeping all the negativity away. Not this day please. Not going to fool around.

"Well, memorizing the rules of what and what not is a boring class, I specifically object to be killed someday because I forgot a rule. However, I am much love the logic and equation. But I totally hate knife and throwing it to the tree. I abhor the thought of touching it." I said the last with eagerly of disagreement of such object near on me. I had my reasons which they didn't need to be heard.

"Kana!" mother interjected.

My grandpa just twitched his eyebrows to me, sending me nothing to read.

"But that's what we do and job. To live and give pride to our clan." Trying to nudge me.

"I hate it, " I announced with pure defiance.

"Intriguing but tonight you must know that it is what you'll do; a requirement if it is a must for you to know, of what you may serve us and this country."

My whole body became frigid. That statement was like he chose it for me and I don't need to question it. I was about to retort my disagreement, unfortunately I was halted by the time my mother's orbs, shouting of my obedience. The fury inside of couldn't contain how much rage needed to be out in my body, but with no choice, I left my mouth closed and eyes on my food, though my I suppose my enthusiasm on my food died down.

'Bon Appetit' I thought.

And that's how the dinner went through until we left the compound.

It was night time we left, and the street starts to glow. The lanterns were everywhere and everything was beautiful. The establishment had decorated very well to attract customers, some of it was glittery. There were people enjoying the night, for it was a good time to walk least have a fresh air and appreciate the nice sight to behold.

While it was weeks ago happened the dinner between the family affair of my mother - which we were invited-, father decided to visit our relatives to the other village, while I was left with my mother, we both took new memories to tamper her mood in which it hadn't subsided since last weeks.

There was a festival starting and mother thought it was a good idea. A probably good one.

Walking to a nearby store, I wave my fan and began to walk to familiar person that I happened to miss a lot. I accidentally spotted on a crowd where she was nearby on a stall which I had stopped by for a moment. A few more steps, her brown kimono was getting clearer. I began to fasten my pace despite being constricted in a black yukata that had gold printed flowers and yellow obi-tightened so much-which was chosen by mother.

"Yoshino!"

She spun. In her hands, she had two candies while the other was had fan like me. Across with her, I peaked from a certain company besides her. A guy with jet black spiky hair on ponytail.

" Kana!" She smiled then dissolved and turned to a frown. Then not to my surprise, hugged me.

"I haven't seen you this so long. Now, you got a good pin on your hair. I wonder who gave that to you."

"It's a gift." I smiled

"Its lovely." she glowed with admiration.

"Yes, it is."

I couldn't agree with it. The pin was rather unique and odd, though still able to be called beautiful because of its elegance it spits around. Mother gave it to me before we left to celebrate the festival.

"From whom?" she asked whether be unconscious or consciously.

"Neh, Yoshino-chan it's a heirloom which passes to a direct head member or clan head." Interjected by the guy, companion of Yoshino.

"huh? Is that possible Shikaku-kun?"

"Hmm,"

"Are you an heiress?" she shot me a gaze of puzzlement. Even I myself was surprised to the new found knowledge of having this pin. From what I think, the possibility me as a heiress is lower than zero. That's too impossible. Aside from the fact I live from a simple house, I've got a multiple relatives- and that could only mean as a competition.

I just shook my head. "Mother gave this to me,"

"But Shikaku-kun said-"

"I might be wrong Yoshino-chan,"

There wasn't a reply to it.

"Who's he?" I began.

"Who?"

"Him?" I pointed out the boy.

"Yes, him."

"He's Shikaku-kun,"

"Yes I heard it first time. Is he your cousin too?" I spoke while crinkling my eyes. Curiosity got me, the similarities was notable. But a direct answer to it, would be nice.

"She's my fiance,"

Fiance sounds nice- "Huh?"

"I'm going to be with him. Our family agreed to it last winter."

"Okay,"

"Do you know what fiancé, Kana?" she asked genuinely, mistaking my surprise to confusion.

Unable to utter another word because of sudden shock, I merely nodded. Then to their confusion and mine also, I turned and slowly taking my steps near where my parent was.

* * *

Over the window, not far from my seat, the gloomy sky conveyed it's silent rage; the chilled breeze were passing by to the trees, making its way inside the window, then passed through my face. Towards to the door, everyone began to walk inside the room.

I was on the corner of the room, sitting on a seat and witnessing everyone talks, smile, laughs and enjoyment filled their eyes as new term to start. While they were having good time, the major part of me was on opposite mood. The empty part of me- that was almost forgotten -became tangible. Each days I tried filling of my parents' love, the gap inside was merely sucking, leaving me vulnerable. It just couldn't tamper the hole inside. I was doing all my best conceal it, but sometimes there were breaking point and sometimes ignorance wasn't enough.

"Oi," another voice rang, making me look at my back, but only to see the familiar guy with jet black hair.

"Yes," I replied with boredom.

"Yoshino's over there." He pointed out by his eyes, looking over Yoshino's view- where she was talking to other students.

"Yeah, I see that. Why?"

To be honest, I was having hard time to look directly to Yoshino's eyes. I knew from where I come, arranged marriage is never new. But to come across from it, was giving me an uncomfortable reaction. Especially witnessing it at young age.

"You've been sitting there longer than anyone else that should be." The fact he pointed it out by abashed eyes directly to Yoshino's place.

"So?" I raised my brows.

"Troublesome," He mumbled, softly.

"That's quite opposite, actually." I began. "It was you who called me first, so it is you should be the troublesome."

"Tou-san is right. All girls are troublesome."

My eye forcibly twitched. "The next time I heard you saying me troublesome, I'll show you how troublesome I am." I finished, nearing swearing out of irritation.

But his eyes aligned to me, and to my utter disbelief, he raised his eyebrow, daring me to challenge him.

Fierce with reluctance of conceding, I bit my lips. I intended shot him another comeback because I was in crescendo of his annoyance and emotional stress coiling around my head. Although, unfortunately I was interrupted abruptly when another presence graced us, besides my seat ultimately. By the time I snapped my attention of which it was, the blond with blue met my intense eyes.

He merely stared at me, after then awkwardly sent me a smile.

"Minato-kun," Interrupted abruptly by Shikaku, his hand waived.

"Shikaku," He smiled in reply, afterwards sat beside me.

Then both casted gaze on me, but I just lifted my brows.

To my great relief, the bell rang. It was then our new teacher entered and laid out his new lesson for first day of class.

It was between in the middle of the class I started to feel uncomfortable. As usual everyone studiously had their eyes pinned on the board with my teacher's demonstrations of each weapon. In instance, I stretched my arms out of boredom, causing me even more to yawn. Then out of the blue my attention snapped. Something wasn't right. It was hollow. I was starting to sink but I had no idea where. I just don't know where but I was dire on the verge to question my sanity right at the moment. Something was happening and I don't know where. But I was losing it.

"Are you alright?" A whispery voice reached on me. In impromptu, my eyes were all over in him, trying to grasp my last vestige self control of sudden panic. I was helplessly clutching my chest, a poor attempt to ease the ache.

"Are you unwell again? Do you want me to call, Sensei?" He urgently came, not caring how it was garnering sight from some students.

"No!" I whispered, hoping not catch new attention to the room, while making my breath in control. "I-I'm alright," I don't know if it was for me or for him those assurance.

"Are you sure?" His eyed me more, not caring for my space his hand flew on my forehead, then took it away after checking my temperature. A bit unsure of me probably, crinkles his eyes.

I nodded- assuring him. . A loud sigh was released... What was wrong with me? It never happened during the years I've had been living, Only the time I was in the dark abyss ... Oh no! The realization of the depth of this sudden attack had out balance. This isn't happening to me again! I didn't fight my memories to lose again. Unbelievable! I'll never see the day I even depart from it, not ever the mere fact that I was starting to live here and struggled to keep it.

Something was dissolving and I have no idea what it was. Pulling myself in reality, suppressing my disappointment, I clenched my hands. It was starting to hurt but I was too busy digging and sinking to my emotions for me to feel the pain.

I sighed. Calming me on the middle of crowded people was a true struggle, when every second I was beginning to hyperventilate. Lifting my head, I decided to put my concentration to our teacher, whether I was absorbing his words didn't matter. But During those hours, there was an eyes burned on me. I was aware how it was all over me because the sensation was very tangible. I never saw him went back to where he seated; rather he never left my side, remained to me until the class was over. Shamed on me that I never ever said my thanks.

Shamed on me for everything.

* * *

"Hey!" a sharp voice dragged my attention, not to my liking, I chose to ignore it.

"Hey!"

Stubborn boy!

"Hey," He insisted, addressed in lower tone.

"What!" I shouted, had everyone eyes on me.

Great! Congratulation Kana. You got all them.

"Wow," blowing an air." You're unbelievable," He uttered.

"That's rich coming from you," dead serious setting my gaze on him. I'd really love to cut his pineapple hair.

"Well, I guess whisper works on you," He lazily put his palm on his cheeks.

I groaned. "You're unbelievable."

"Yeah, Why you still not talking her?" He said pinpointing.

"Why don't you ask her?" Shrugging my shoulder, I directed my sight to the board which words scrawled all over by sensei's hand.

"It's a touchy subject for her,"

"It's touchy subject also for me, so back off," I barked.

This was outrageous. It was almost months and yet there wasn't any indication of her talking to me. Yes, I wasn't comfortable of idea of arrange marriage, because it was also synonymous for living in an old age. However, I couldn't decide if I was living in an old age or dark ages.

"You are troublesome,"

I really wanted to slap him.

"Uchiha! Sit down," Sensei dominating voice had me stiffened. "not you, Mikoto."

It was meant for me. So much for pondering.

After the chattering died down, I was inclined to settle myself beside him. Minato Namikaze. He had peculiar actions which unnerving.

Every day of my life in here, I accidentally caught his immense attention, unwavering despite catching him. It was disturbing of how would cast his sight for an hour. it never settled me right. Everytime it happened, I'd make myself pretend it was never about me, brushed it off like it wasn't important. I could guess why the unfaltering attention was on me. Perhaps, he was too concerned I might fall dead again on his lap. I can't blame him for that. Everytime the situation arises, he'd always there to witness. Perhaps, too traumatized because of me. Although, something tells me differently. Maybe, I didn't fancy his eyes lingering on me.

"Put out your papers and pencil then draw something important. Important that you'll never let enemies touch it. The purpose of this to know you're priorities. Now, start!"

Seemed the students vibrantly loved the drawing part. The clutter and crumpled papers were heard. Rolling my pencil to the papers had created lines. Then my right hand started ticking.

I had no whole picture to draw. I just didn't see it. Family could be considered but it was an exception. It's a common and unquestionable. There had to be something. It had to be. But there was nothing to squeeze out on my brain.

To my utter horror, I saw him- Namikaze-, blankly staring to my paper. I could have covered it but I didn't. What's the purpose of hiding when he already testifies my almost fifteen minute's blank paper had nothing on it.

His eyes snapped. Curiosity was unbecoming, though when my eyes met his. Those obscure azure eyes cascaded on me. For a moment, I felt like animal caught. It was disturbing in a weird way. It was always weird.

"Class," sensei tone went all over the room. "I need your attention. We will be introducing you another student."

 _Another student?_

"Come now, and introduce yourself." Sensei spoke, gazed over the door where a noticeable flaming red haired girl went out. She was very pretty, while those violet eyes had definitely accentuated her beauty.

"Uzumaki, Kushina! I'm going to be the first female Hokage."

A loud crack shifted my fixation. It was then I realized the pencil broke in to two, lying on his hand. Nervously, I was caught again. Although this time his lips curled gently. He just smiled. And I was wordlessly stunned.

"Kushina Uzumaki," he spoke, whispering it to the air.

A/N: Corrections will always welcome.


	7. Chapter 7

Three feet away from her. A close distance had me dispute of my decision. Hesitation would be welcome but I doubt it will resolve the problem had been bugging me.

Few more steps and everything would be alright. Conquered the fear because she was important. She made herself important to me. Breath out then everything would be alright.

It was for a bit I held back. Confusion flood in me, the lack of understanding why or what was happening. A cold bucket of iced washed over me when a vital point struck me. it was all over the same. The déjà Vu was recognizable.

Months passed though Yoshino Nara was drifting apart to me. Her existence simply fading. She wasn't interacting to me, nor pestered me with her infamous nagging about my notes. She didn't come to me whenever she was alone. I told myself it was alright. Perhaps, she was dealing sometimes she wouldn't share on me.

There was a time I thought she would be back if I maintained the way I was. I tried not to over analyze because I thought it would be too ridiculous.

Then suddenly I got this idea. My last straw. My hope. I ate all my pride. Talk to her, I murmured to myself.

That was how I thought it was because I'd have to fix all the problem, had it planned ever since . However, it was until I saw her giggling- happy as I could decipher. Right at the moment, I intrude something that should never been mine.

There she was, happy smiling with Kushina Uzumaki and Mikoto Uchiha. Then to my utter despair, there was words echoed to my head. A warning I should see.

"Change is constant. Don't expect they won't fade away." Familiar words spoke with the statement held so much indignation and depth.

Walking bit more near to her where she was nearby the play ground, I bit my lips. But as I got nearer, she saw me. I smiled, tried nervously because of shame.

However, in most unexpected day of my life occurred, voyage of another emotion was set to sail to ruin me. Although, that day had she made a decision, cleared as crystal, Yoshino Nara was no longer interested in me. Because when I smiled, she ignored me. Block her presence from me, and ignored me.

I was... shattered.

Had I made mistakes? Probably yes, because I had lost my first friend I ever had.

* * *

"Cassie wait!" I ran, hapless to the speed she made. She keep walking fast, didn't make a glance to my helpless plead.

"Cassie! Stop please!" A hoarse voice of mine echoed.

She ceased. When she face me, I bit my lip, hands clenched, merely mortified of what I was witnessed. I knew I regret my selfishness and stupidity. Her eyes streamed with tears, cheeks tainted with horrible redness. "How long?"

Her cold eyes stared back at me. No void of emotion and I was more afraid to it. Anger, hate, and sad would be alright, but when those green eyes gaze to me, I nervously step backward.

"Last year," I spoke.

She laughed. She laughed louder." A year. A year making me looks like shit. Do you enjoy it? Enjoy knowing that I own him and kissing him, yet you do it also in my back."

"No! No Cassie! I can't control it."

"No one can control it, Prim. But what I don't understand, you chose this. You choose to ruin this," she paused, wave of tears surged. "You...are cruel."

Her words stabbed me. It was true. That words shouldn't hurt me, so much that enough to rip me apart. I was so selfish. However, don't betray your friend for a guy. Though, the way he made me feel and I couldn't control it. It was wrong and disgusting. I knew what I did and their consequences, but what I wasn't prepared was to be caught. Being caught, means I'll face the road.

"What they say again?" she crossed her arms. "Change is constant. Don't expect they fade away."

"What?"

"I guess you change. I doubt I know you now or was it really you. But does it matter?" she turned her back and never saw her again.

* * *

I was ten and alone. I never mind the solace and tranquility of solitude. It was perhaps may best. The pleasure of being alone has it quirks. Sometimes, I find it back in my mind; I was no stranger of loneliness.

The green grasses spread the ground, glided to my toes softly. It was high time of spring, and it was perfect time to lay on it, especially the heat was only warm, fancy how it embraced my skin.

It was lunch break. Everyone seemed to be done eating. Probably that was true, because they got hyper, running around like minions, while some lay also with grasses.

Arms spread; I glared to the beautiful blue sky. Refreshing made my nerves loosened up, I couldn't resist how peaceful it was. I slightly rolled my back then my eyes strayed to Minato Namikaze.

He was sitting with his back on a hard bark, lazily rubbing his toes on the grasses and his head towered by a shadow of trees. He was probably enjoying the mellow whispers of the wind when it blew his radiant hair. Though bit out of place, there was a sketch pad on his lap.

I blink few more times, only due to wind passing by. And when I straight look to him again, his eyes was all over the paper, while his finger firmly stroking it, so engrossed to it. He was just so concentrated that it even entertained me watching him.

Three giggles broke out, and quickly my eyes turned its subjects. But for a few moments, I saw him distracted. I caught those blue orbs distracted. Then they we're under his scrutiny, though unknown to them.

Three girls walking. Each of them telling a stories and I couldn't caught the gist of it. The other one was an Uchiha I met on my last dinner we attended by my mother. She was laughing all along with the girl whom I truly know. I don't know but the hallow part of me began to sink lower. Ached inside but I learn to let go and accept. No matter heart wrenching it was. But I don't deny I miss her.

Yoshino was my friend. However, if she wasn't happy with my company. I understand her.

By that time, I saw him having absolute attention to the red head. Even I was enthralled how it was vibrant shining against the vivacity of light. It was a beautiful red. Almost synonymous to passion.

A little bit of staring of him again, I felt I was thief. Snatching glances, observing and under my scrutiny were bad enough. Unfortunately, his azure eyes met mine. He caught me. Then for the first time, I could sense my stomach twisted. It wasn't unpleasant, but not also pleasurable.

His eyes were set on me. The unresisting grass became victim of my dilemma, crushed violently by little fingers. Although, I caught a glimpse of him smiling at me, but it never falter me to suddenly turn my back at him.

I knew I was rude.

Then softly glided my fingers to the grasses, a hope to lessen my agitation from the sensation overwhelming my body, or rather a poor attempt to forget it.


End file.
